9-9-09

The day before yesterday was September 9, 2009 the big 09-09-09. To some I am sure there was a numerical meaning in this rare date and alignment of numbers. Numerology has been around for centuries and we shouldn’t take it lightly. Certain numbers have certain meanings and significance. September 9th had a different significance for me; it was my oldest granddaughter’s seventh birthday. Seven years ago I became a grandfather and at that time was totally unaware of the event.

Bypassing any negative side of this story and cutting to the chase, November 1st, 1981 my first wife took off with my two children and within a year I had totally lost them. I couldn’t find them. I had no clue until 1995 and then all I was told was they were in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is a big state. I did hunt for them and did countless internet searches using every clue I had as well as anything else I could imagine leading me towards my children. Feel lucky if you know your children, my daughter was two and my son was two months old the last time I had seen them.

Very few people even knew I had children but I never denied them and I thought about them every day. It was something that haunted me for a very long time. My search continued and as the internet grew larger the more I searched. I found references to my son and his wife and I even located my first wife. I knew without a doubt she would not tell me anything. You would just have to know her to understand. I even paid one of those Internet sites to give me details and I got a telephone number for my son. I called and it was useless. My present wife was aware of my searching efforts and warned me not to be disappointed if I did find them and they rejected me. She said she didn’t want to see me getting hurt. I had to keep looking. If you have children I am sure you understand.

Finally on the last day of June, 2008 I got a hit on my daughter, it was a Saturday. The website was her employer and it even had a photograph. I knew it had to be her, because she looked like my sister at that age. I waited to call on Monday, thinking she wouldn’t be there on the weekend. This site gave me her married name and I continued to search even more, memorizing and jotting down even detail I could find.

Monday morning I tried to be patient and not start calling too early in the day. When I did get my daughter on the phone, I almost passed out. Instant connection much better than I could ever had imagined. My daughter and I have so much in common it is uncanny and she accepted me. She and I have stayed in touch on a regular basis even though she is a thousand miles away. I can’t tell you how many phone calls, e-mails, text messages, Facebook message we have exchanged. Not only do I still think of her every day like before, I actually get to talk to her now, know where she is and that she loves me. I get to tell her directly I love her now; not just in my prayers like before. I get to know my son-in-law and have a great amount of respect for him. I get to know and hear the sweet voices of my two granddaughters, encourage their antics and tell them I love them. After twenty-seven years of not knowing, the darkness has dissipated and the relationship between me and my first born evolved rapidly into more than anyone could hope for in life. Matter-of-fact, she set up this blog for me. I am extremely grateful for my daughter and love her very much.

Unfortunately my only son hasn’t decided whether he wants to know me or not. All I can do is respect his wishes and accept his decision as painful as it may be. I have received one e-mail from him, I answered but nothing since. Hopefully he understands that I never forgot or rejected him.

I am not going to lie and say my daughter and I haven’t talked about the past. When we visited this past April, we spent a lot of time talking to each other and several subjects were discussed. The good thing is we actually don’t dwell on the past. I guess we got it out of our systems and we don’t need to talk about it. We still talk to each other a whole bunch, but subjects of the present and future have become the topics of the day. Things like my granddaughter’s daily antics and vast cuteness are what we dwell on. Cooking, recipes, TV, weather, current events, school, health, dreams and ideas occupy our chats. We have talked for minutes and have talked for hours. She and I share many common interests and our conversations are of such what would be expected from a father-daughter relationship. I missed out on a lot of her life and growth but she has made it possible for the past to rush into the present leaving us with a healthy loving family relationship. I told her up front my intent was to cause no harm, and I think by now she knows I was being honest. I told her up front that I had no desire to speak negatively about her Mother and I would say that since July, 2008 she knows that when I call she doesn’t have to worry about being in the middle of something painful. We don’t need the past, we have now and tomorrow.

I won’t speak much about religion or politics because they are two volatile subjects. I will say this about what we are taught about forgiveness and redemption. Absolution from sins should cure us; forgiveness should give us a new day. Negativity, anger and hate only destroy us as a person. If I allowed the feelings of the past and spent all my time issuing blame, I wouldn’t be much use to anyone. My present marriage is a Godsend. I wasn’t looking for it, but I have been daily blessed by it. How could I participate in my marriage to my wonderful wife now, if I allowed the past to infiltrate my thoughts and actions?

Now I can fully appreciate my daughter and my granddaughters. My son-in-law and I can be friends and buddies, free to communicate without dread. My daughter can know that her father loves her and she can still refer to her adoptive father as Dad without me minding. I love her unconditionally like a father should and not cause her any disharmony. I guess since Wednesday I have been thinking about how blessed I am now to have found my children. It feels good to call a grandchild and say Happy Birthday. By the way, in case you aren’t aware, Grandchildren can do no wrong.

My recommendation is if you have children, hug them now, for there are people who don’t have that privilege. If you haven’t talked to your child, make time to talk. It feels good and if you lost that ability you will miss it greatly. I got to hug my baby girl for the first time in a very long time this year and I can still feel her arms around me. What was lost is now found. Thank you to my daughter for being my daughter. I love you.

Two topics

Topic of the first part, Good things: I bought a quart of honey while I was on my trip to Cincinnati. On the way home we stopped off at the orchard that my Great-Grandfather started in 1905. It is no longer in the family and was bought out a few years ago, but I still feel a connection to this orchard. Now instead of trees and strawberry beds the main fruit stand is obviously storage and the new owners have built this barn like structure which is gift shop/fruit stand/restaurant. The fruit part now seems to have a minimum part in this gift and there is this large playground in back of the barn/restaurant.

While perusing the various “tourist trap” wares I came across a shelf with pints and quarts of honey. I like good honey and the last two pints I bought was from a guy at the big flea market in Ripley, Mississippi. He had his honey marked by the different strengths of the honey. The two I bought were both good honey. This honey I found in Kentucky was labeled Suttons Honey and listed that is had won several awards, like some State Fair best eight years in a row. So I bought a quart. I started to buy a pint but I got to thinking if this honey was as good as the label indicated I would really regret only buying a pint. I am real glad I bought a quart, because it is some real good honey. My wife said it reminded her of her Grandfather’s honey.

I told her that when this jar ran out….she finished my sentence by saying “we’re taking a trip.” That would be just like me to drive seven hours one way to buy a jar of honey. I would like to think I was more restrained than that. We have driven a couple of hours to another town to see a movie that wasn’t playing in Tupelo, but that was a couple type outing. The problem is once you taste a food item with superior taste you are disappointed with anything less. My wife tells me I have a snooty palate, but after finding things that taste so much better than you had before you aren’t satisfied with “before” anymore. Everyone likes good food, but the people that are happy with bad food truly confuse me. While society still allows us we should seek out more and even better tasting food items, either sweet or savory as long as it is better than you had before. I would rather pay twenty dollars for a wedge of real parmesan cheese and grate it myself per use than any filler-filled facsimile. Not only does it tastes better, but you get more and have to use less. It’s no secret that the best will cost more or even require more effort, but if you get in the habit of using fresh ingredients and better cooking techniques you will reap the rewards. Now I have to start figuring out how I will get more of this honey. Several very delicious items I have found were by being adventurous and not fearing trying new things. Personally I think it is wrong for a person to declare they don’t like something they haven’t tried before. Plus sometimes it isn’t the food item but the preparation of that food that made it taste bad. Try something new every so often and I think you will be surprised with some of your new discoveries. Recommendations help but please remember that “taste” is very individual and not everyone is the same. So be open-minded and enjoy.

Topic of the second part: Advertising. Daily, hourly and every minute of the day now we are bombarded with advertising. You would think these ad guys would realize that by increasing the volume of a television commercial only results in hitting the mute button and ignoring the ad rather than getting our attention. I don’t mind a company advertising their products, but now there is so much advertising I am getting were I don’t listen to or read any of them. Plus, they have to repeat the same ones constantly. Ads should be limited to only once a week, even once a day would be nice. Everything has a sponsor. The homegrown ones are the worse. True ads make it possible for some TV shows and events to be shown but we also pay good money for cable service. When is the last time you saw an advertisement and was inspired to buy that product? The ones about the “free” credit report make me wonder, if it is a free service what is paying for all those annoying ads? The local boys with the used car lot that think they are entertainers only make people avoid them. We should be able to block an ad once we seen it once. Do people really buy the premium brands with the fancy ads or do they opt for the store brand at a lower price. Some premium brands are better due to quality not because of the advertisement.

Once I saw a food ad where the person tasted the soup and put the spoon back in the pot. I e-mailed the company telling them about the lack of food safety portrayed in the advertisement. About four months later I got a response stating they were very serious about food safety and that they were actors not company food professionals. I saw the same TV spot after that and that part was edited out. I thoroughly enjoyed my little victory.

The print media isn’t any better. Magazines are mostly advertisements but at least they aren’t loud with annoying songs. The internet is racked with ads and will jump in your face. I once knew a newspaper reporter and actually went on restaurant reviews with her. She told me that we couldn’t give a bad review because the advertising department wouldn’t allow it and the advertising department controlled the paper because they brought in the money.

So like most Americans I have learned to ignore all the advertisements I see on a daily basis. I have become so overloaded with ads I am not affected, inspired or amused. All that money, time and energy spent on so many calculated seconds while I get a refill or go to the bathroom. The mute button gets hits automatically and I miss whatever is out there that can and will improve my life. I guess I won’t be talking to my doctor about that pill which will allow me to walk romantically on the beach regardless of a possible heart attack, blindness, stroke, rash, dry mouth or gas.

Do we talk too much?

Probably do and since the on-set of cell phones and the Internet we converse a whole heck of a lot more than ever before. Are we saying anything more than before, probably not, we are just hashing and re-hashing the same old words just more of the same.

How did we ever survive in the sixties and seventies without all this mass communication on a daily basis? Last night I had dinner with a friend and both of us received text messages during our meal. Neither one of us obviously thought it was odd or an inconvenience. We were not bothered but the normal daily occurrence. The Internet allows us worldwide instant communication with millions of people and I venture to say about any subject that comes to mind.

For example: I was talking to my daughter last week and using my weird sense of humor the subject of Chinese cheeses came up. Luckily my daughter understands my sense of humor. Within minutes of the initial question, “Do the Chinese have cheese?” Neither one of us could remember seeing a cheese dish in a Chinese restaurant, well a Chinese dish. I was able to Google “Chinese Cheeses” and discovered that yes there is Chinese cheese and matter of fact there are three different Chinese cheeses.

Being that I have been a lover of all thing knives since childhood, I discovered an Internet forum which I joined ten years ago. http://www.bladeforums.com/

When I joined in July, 1999 there were already 2,000 members. I was psyched. That many people all in one spot talking about knives. This forum includes some of the most knowledgeable purveyors and makers in the world. This forum has been exciting and basically has changed the face of the knife industry. Now ten years later there are over 138,000 members on this forum. At anytime day or night there will be around 700 to 800 members on-line. That is a lot of people talking knives. There are sections relating to non-knife issues and even total nonsense. Some of the forums are restricted to members only and the moderators keep the spammers and troublemakers tossed out faster than you can be bothered by them. There are other good knife interest forums and I have been known to read them as well. Checking Bladeforums has become a daily habit. I have learned a lot from these guys and I have also been bored by some of the members asking the same old question over and over. I guess freedom of speech is their right and I can easily skip right over the boring stuff. But please people discover for yourself which is the best knife. I own over a hundred knives, so what do I know? I have successfully used four different styles of kitchen knives in the last week, each a different blade length, width and metal. Maybe it isn’t the knife in general but the user. At least all four of them were decent knives.

It does seem that the forums were a lot more interesting when less people were on-line. I guess we have covered all the truly relative subjects and now we are waiting for the next big development. I have become bored with the forums for now, but I will remain a faithful member.

There is a new forum for Shriners now. http://theshriners.proboards.com/

This forum only has 27 members and apparently very little activity. With 191 Shrine Temples you would think we would have more to discuss. One problem is the average age of Shriners is somewhere around 70. Not many of them are Internet savvy and some think it is OK to pass around spam. “Oh No, Pass it ON, the country is going to hell in a hand basket!” So I guess it wasn’t really rock-n-roll after all but all the politicians you elected. Maybe allowing all of our industries to move overseas and not buying American wasn’t such a good idea. I know you don’t like illegal immigrants but you also don’t like picking the fruit and digging the potatoes yourself. How about the real issues of the Shriners and the 22 hospitals? Apathy is our worse enemy, but maybe as the years pass by, more Shriners will connect and we can rebuild this great fraternity.

Maybe we do talk too much and maybe we aren’t really saying anything. I think all this communication is better than not talking at all. At least with forums we can choose what to ignore and what to learn from. Sometimes we can depend on our Internet friends to be more supportive than people we see every day. I have four Internet friends that I have known for over ten years, we all live hundreds of miles apart. They are as close to me as the friends I have living in Tupelo.

Conclusion: We probably do talk too much but at least we are communicating. Maybe the lack of mass personal communication in the sixties and seventies is why the world is like it is now. We should encourage the exchange of free ideas and respectfully understand all people are entitled to their opinion. We should continue to read, continue to learn and continue to respect each other.

The only people that are wrong are the closed minded and the ones that use cheap dull knives.

Cheap Steel

This morning after the dog woke me up so I could let her go out; I sleepily sat down at the computer and started doing “my thing.” Checking e-mail and scanning the various news websites which is my version of reading the morning paper.

I then started writing for this blog and wrote a bunch of words, which I have since decided was total crap. Sometimes delete is nice, too bad I didn’t use it when I should had this week. I sent a harsh e-mail which some people totally agree and other think I owe an apology. I probably should apologize but I have realized that these people never apologize for their words or actions. I have been out of sorts all week and allowed my emotions to run wild. One reason I fiercely miss Milton Collier, he used to keep me from unloading on people. I think I am burned out and should have dropped out a couple of years ago.

I feel better now; tonight my wife and I went to dinner and a movie. We had good sushi at Kyoto and then saw Julie and Julia. Being a foodie, I was looking forward to seeing it. Meryl and Stanley were great and I even liked Amy Adams. If this movie doesn’t get a nomination or even award for costume design I will be very surprised; because if I noticed the costume design, it had to be impressive. One thing the movie did impress me with was an appreciation for real relationships.

I noticed the movie mentioned the use of carbon steel and stainless steel knives. In the era of Julia Child was in while she was writing her cookbook, she was right about stainless steel for knives wasn’t good. Things have changed since then. There are now steels out there that make very suitable knives which are in the stainless category. The carbon versus stainless argument does still exists in the knife world. I remember a time when you couldn’t get good knives made out of stainless and back in the sixties some of the better models came from England or Germany. Then American knife makers came around and now make some of the finest blades you can find. Even the Japanese make some very fine kitchen cutlery.

I like knives. Knives are ancient tools which also are pieces of art and products of technology. Design, choice of materials, heat treat and construction of each knife all play a part. A good knife will cost you, but is worth the expense. Now the really sad part is that some of the cheapest knives and some of the most used knives are kitchen knives. Do some research; find one or two “good” kitchen knives that feel right to you. Meaning when you hold the knife in your hand and you can imagine yourself using it, and it feels right, then consider it. Learn to use a good kitchen knife properly. Practice with it and learn how to take care of it. A word of caution, if you are used to using dull knives in the kitchen you can easily cut yourself when you start using a sharp one. You do not have to slice and dice at breakneck speed like you see on TV. If you can, fine, but I recommend using your knife which how you enjoy using it. The best part of owning and using a good kitchen knife is enjoying using one.

The most significant change in the knife industry in the last ten years has been the Internet. The Internet is riddled with websites and forums dealing with nothing but knives. You can find any type of production or custom knife imaginable now on-line. The Internet has benefited several knife makers and companies and even hurt others. A maker can’t put out a bad product or provide bad service without it becoming known worldwide in a matter of minutes. Plus you can find good knives for a better price if you are willing to look. It is amazing how much the Internet has altered the life of such a simple ancient tool.

By the way, don’t buy cheap weak knives with inferior steel.

One of the things I wanted to do with this blog is include the articles I write for the Lee County Shrine Club Newsletter. This is the one for the September 2009 issue about the Cincinnati Hospital...I hope you enjoy it...Melvin

Cincinnati Shriners Hospital for Children, Wow!

When you think about Cincinnati, Ohio, baseball or maybe even the famous Skyline chili comes to mind. When Shriners think about Cincinnati, we think of the award winning pediatric burn center that is part of our twenty-two Shriners Hospitals for Children system. This hospital, which is a thirty bed burn center, is nothing less than totally amazing. From the facility, medical staff, and the volunteers you will swell with major pride as a Shriner the minute you walk into the place.

Last week Ruben called me saying he needed someone to make a trip to Cincinnati with a patient. It wasn’t like he was sitting around on his hands; we already had two other trips to Shreveport to make. So I didn’t refuse him, besides I had never made a trip to a burn center and since Galveston was shut down for repairs, I wasn’t going to see one any sooner. I called my little brother, Noble Ross Ford, and told him to load up for two days of Kentucky bluegrass and Tennessee highways. Ross was the perfect choice for a co-driver because he knows the route and can tolerate two days in a car with me.

Hamasa wasn’t too familiar with the Cincinnati facility mainly because we normally transported patients to the Galveston Burn Center. Details like appointment schedules and hotels weren’t clear. Many of us had already seen the DVD produced by the Imperial Headquarters, so we knew they did quality work in Cincinnati. My first real experience with the Cincinnati facility involved a phone call to ask about which hotel Shrine Drivers use. I spoke to a very helpful and friendly lady named Belinda who not only gave me good information but also set me up with reservations. The experience started out on a high note, so I was excited about making the trip.

Thursday morning Ross and I picked up a 2010 minivan from Enterprise Rental; we loaded up and headed north. The minute we crossed the Tennessee state line we heard a little voice ask, “Are we there yet?” That began a two day trip of laughter and sightseeing green hills and tobacco farms the best we could from the road. Once we spotted that famous Cincinnati skyline we were able to settle in for a decent night’s sleep.

The outpatient clinic doesn’t start seeing patients until 1:00 PM because the doctors perform surgeries in the morning, so we didn’t have to rush Friday morning. We got to the hospital about 11:15 AM to sign in and have lunch. Once we walked into the lobby we were all impressed with how nice the place was and when we walked into the outpatient clinic, wow. We were all speechless on how wonderful this Shriners Hospital is, full of art work, murals and furnishings designed as a village. Here is a place for children who have suffered the most painful and horrific injuries can come to and be treated in an atmosphere of love, caring and happiness. Just the children I saw in the outpatient clinic will tear you up and make you swallow hard.

We were greeted by some extra friendly volunteers and staff, after we signed in we headed to the fifth floor for lunch in the cafeteria. Well, you can call it a cafeteria if you want, I think of it as a very nice restaurant with good food that I want to visit again. The food service people were grilling out on the rooftop patio as a special, so we got a nice lunch for free. I looked over the buffet and considered calling Ruben and telling him we had to stay through the weekend.

Once we finished with lunch, our patient was able to settle into the colorful play area at the clinic while Ross and I had the opportunity to talk to other Shriners and volunteers. I was able to meet with Louise Hoelker, the Director for Volunteers and Public Relations, who in spite of the fact she was extremely busy preparing for an open house the next day took the time to talk to us and e-mail me the information I requested. She set us with Wanda, a Lady Shriner and volunteer associated with Syrian Temple who gave us an informative tour of the facility along with a couple of Nobles from Tennessee. She told us about addressing the children as “sweet-pea” or “honey” because you couldn’t tell from the bandages if the child was a boy or a girl.

We found out that this “village” wasn’t just colorful impressive art work but a fully functional burn hospital. The Dress Shop was really Radiology and the Beauty Shop was administration. The Cobbler Shop was Orthotic Services and Garment Fabrication, where the special masks and custom fitted spandex garments are made to assist with healing and reducing burn scars. This “village” with hand-painted lettering that even impressed Ross, an accomplished artist himself, also houses accounting, human resources, and a school for the children; plus recreational areas divided by age group for the patients. The second and third floors also have patient rooms while fourth floor was research. They have a visual art department that photographs the healing process and produces other vital information. There is a muti-functioning auditorium for movies for the children, medical conferences and even Masonic meetings. We were shown the Shrine representative board room that also serves as the tele-medicine room for the doctors, saving us thousands in transportation costs.

This burn center has 350 employees and over 200 volunteers from students to Shrine Ladies and Nobles with an award winning transportation team. They also have a child-life program and a school re-entry program helping these young burn victims return to their homes and school as well as occupational and physical therapy units. Cincinnati Shriners Hospital provides a summer camp for our children as part of their family centered care allowing parents and family members to deal with every stage of treatment and recovery. As someone involved with various fund raising efforts I was impressed with the efficiently and overall utilization of the facility.

We normally don’t think about what is truly involved with a tragic and painful burn injury. We hear about it on the news, but don’t understand the devastating reality of a child being burned. Many of us are lucky enough not to have the experience, but for the ones that do suffer this painful tragedy, Shriners have a solution. Like all our Shrine Hospitals, Cincinnati is a special place that works miracles for children and families. Nobles I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for you to visit one of “YOUR” Hospitals and see what we really do and understand why so many of us are totally dedicated to being a Shriner.

As we crossed the Ohio River headed home, we heard a little voice say, “Are we in Mississippi yet?” and the laughter started again for a pleasant but long ride home, happy due to the positive experience in Cincinnati.

Angry for 2 days

I have been angry for two days. Experience has taught me not to expound when I am angry. I needed to cool off. I am still mad and still upset; but, at least I don’t have the desire to publicly call people idiots. They still are idiots but at least I didn’t say it in anger. I don’t feel the need to lay out details or lash out something I may regret later.

Some people understand and some do not; there are some that you could puree the truth into a smoothie pour it down their throat and they still wouldn’t get it. I just don’t think decisions should be made based upon “prediction” or “opinion” but actual facts. Bypassing the efforts it will take to gather actual factual data is irresponsible. No, many of you have no idea what I am talking about, but I refuse to discolor something I really believe in because of “internal” disagreements.

Now what to do? At the moment I am convinced I should back off and allow the downward trend to continue and step off the train now. This has worked for me before both with good results and bad results. One time I flatly refused to throw my supervisor under the bus because it was untrue and wrong. I was warned I could lose my job, but I refused to participate in empire building by making a false report. It was wrong and I refused to be wrong even though it hurt me personally.

A second time I set back and allowed my supervisor to destroy himself. His bossed ask me why I didn’t call and report him. My answer was, “It wasn’t my job to supervise him; it was your job.” I also told him that I refused to cut the guy’s throat because I wanted his job. He said I would have gotten his job if I had reported him. My response was that I wanted his job because I was qualified for the job and not because I caused my former supervisor to lose his job.

Now I feel I should step back and let the idiots have it. The only problem I see with this plan is that normally narcissistic people don’t learn from their own mistakes and tend to blame others. Basically I am burnt out and frustrated. I feel I have done too much in the past and people have grown to depend on me for what I will do and don’t realize actually what I do for them. Like today I asked, “Where are we having the district meeting? I have a newsletter to finish.” I was told “I’ll find out.” Then I was told we were having the meeting “At that place on the side of the highway. “ I asked three times, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
“Oh you know that place by the highway in Booneville.”
“BUT, what is the name of the place??”
“I don’t’ remember but the guy is not normally open on Tuesday.”
“I still need the name.”
To his credit he did call me later and tell me the name of the place. I was frustrated by the thought of making an announcement for a meeting with just “That place on the side of the highway, Yawl come.” Plus I am still in a bad mood. So all I was seeing was the negative.

I get a lot of credit and praises for my newsletter, but I don’t think people really know what level of effort it takes. I just want people to realize I need time and have a deadline and just once not to have to chase down the information that needs to be put out. Burnt out is probably the main problem.

On a happier note, I have an article done about my trip to the Cincinnati Shriners Hospital for Children, a pediatric burn center. The work these people for children is amazing. I wish all Shriners could see and realize the real work of these hospitals, and some of them that have seen have obviously forgotten. We don’t realize how lucky we are until you see a child age four or five wearing pressure garments on her head and face from a burn injury.

Now I need to figure out how to be mad and supportive all at the same time.

Newsletter Mode....

Newsletter Mode is code for "I'm Writing, I'm creating, so DO NOT be surprised if I seem insane, rude, frazzled or even crazier than normal.

Taking something from a blank page to a finished product is a labor of love. I can get snappy if I am disturbed during this process....Christy fully understands now and doesn't get offended when my answer to her "What ya doing?" query is, "I'm Writing." This newsletter has several elements that require balance and tweaking into the size and format I need. Yesterday, I took an article about my Cincinnati trip out of my head and wrote it down. One of the challenges was to get the entire article on one legal size page. The font size matters and getting the photograph(s) to fit in just so can take a lot of patience....

I send out several copies of this newsletter all over and sometimes as I am sticking the mailing labels on and bundling it for bulk mail I wonder if certain people actually read the thing. I have had several people tell me they enjoy it, but it isn't a pat on the back I am looking for. I want to know if they are impacted by my words. Are they getting the message? Many times I am tempted to include something totally off the wall just to get a reaction, but when I got distracted several years ago while laying out the calendar and placed Christmas on the wrong day, only one called me about it. Some said they never noticed. I guess it is like any publication, some read all of it, some part and some never find the time. People do what they want to do and their interest belongs to what ever truly interests them.

When I get in "Newsletter Mode" all I think about is the newsletter with the various elements and layout. I have a deadline for mailing it which means I have to have it written, proofread, printed, folded, labeled and bundled for bulk mail. Now bulk mail has to be folded a particular way with the proper labeling components. Many times I face writer's block and procrastinate getting it done until it will flow on the pages. Driving away from the post office the afternoon it is mailed includes a sigh of relief and a realization I now have to start thinking about the next month's issue....Putting together a monthly newsletter includes lots of pacing, loss of sleep, small self-rewards for items completed and proof-reading, re-reading, reading out-loud to myself, and zoning out.....

Being it is a Shrine Club newsletter the focus is limited somewhat, even though after I include the meeting notice and calendar, I basically have free reign. Normally I have steadfastly refused to allow anyone to pre-approve my work. This year I have allowed that more than ever. I allowed the PR lady see my article about the Cincinnati Hospital for fact checking, she did and corrected the number of volunteers I had listed and said she liked the article. I have allowed this year's Shrine Club President see articles before publication more than any before, basically because he can check the accuracy of the item and doesn't tell me how to write. (I must be slipping, letting people approve of my work.)

Sometimes I feel like I am just being a "Rah-Rah" cheerleader for the Shrine. I want people to get involved, but on their terms and really want to participate. I can't transform them into that wheelchair, walker, braces or even burn garment. Getting people to fully understand why we do what we really do is hard and confusing. Shriners are one organization divided into two sections, the fraternal and the philanthropy. Getting our own members to understand that is a chore all in itself. We don't live close to a Shriners Hospital, so many of our members don't get to see our true cause. Like any organization, club or group there are internal politics and dynamics which further complicates matters and the chief cause of our loss of membership. Humans are human, but that is another blog post.

Now to get back to creating another newsletter, I still need program, meal and transportation information...I'll wrangle it out of them...Plus I have to travel to Meridian today for a Hamasa meeting. As previously stated, or at least thought, I plan on posting my feature articles I write for my newsletter into the blog, you never know.

Until then, stay well and be kind...