Internet Junkie I Am

Since my last blog entry I have be riding up and down the road attending various Shrine Club officer installations taking pictures for the Potentate. I am trying to do a good job as temple photo-grapher this year. The good part is we have a Potentate that has three grandchildren who have been Shriners Hospital patients. He knows what Shriners are really all about. A Shrine Temple is a group organization which requires more than one person to make it successful.

There is a move on-going to move the Temple out of Meridian into Marion which is just above Meridian so basically they aren’t moving the temple more centrally located in the Hamasa territory. This may cause a problem internally in Hamasa members, not all of the members but some main players. I have decided to become neutral in this issue. I am active and live in the North and I have been to several meeting with members from the South in the North but we can’t get members in the North to attend anything in Meridian. I don’t have the answers. Some believe that once Hamasa moves into a new building and the money gained on the sale of the old building, Hamasa will go under. Some believe that moving into a new building will allow us to be back on our own. Many card holders really don’t care. If Hamasa was a college football team more people would care.

I didn’t write an article for this month’s newsletter but I did make an editorial note:

Editorial Note: I receive e-mail news alerts on published articles with the word “Shriners” included. Several times a week I see stories children being helped by Shriners Hospitals, whether it’s a burn victim or a child with orthopedic needs; I see reports of your philanthropy making a difference in the world. Shriners sent a medical team to the fire disaster at the daycare center in Mexico City and now we have a team helping in Haiti. This is you. This is every man that owns a fez, every woman married to Shriner and every child with parents involved in Shriners. You are making a difference in our world. You are improving the lives of thousands daily. This is not a self-serving fraternity, this is a world serving fraternity making a difference and the more we have involved, the bigger difference we make. Don’t just believe me, look for yourself and you will see what being a Shriner really all is about.

Maybe someone will read this and realize what our true purpose is as a fraternity. Too many people are narcissistic nowadays, only looking at things from the prospective of what they can get out of it for themselves. “I” want a title or “I’ want an award or “I” want everyone to look up to me. The biggest disharmony we have originates from people wanting to be someone they aren’t. I get tired of it, I wish all the titles, pomp and circumstance were removed and members all had the same position. But it didn’t work for communism and without individual achievement recognition no one would participate at all. If the good leadership refuses to step up, the bad leaders will happily do so and that leads to our failure.

Moving on….My wife calls me an Internet Junkie. I guess I am. “Internet Junkie” is a new term we all hear more about now. It is easy to get involved with Internet games and social networks. Now with the smart phone you can stay playing no matter where you go. I was riding to Louisville for a Shrine meeting and playing My Town on my iPhone. The traveling gave me new places to check-in with on the game. What confuses me is how people get into trouble using the Internet.

I am on the Internet all the time and I don’t come across any pornography. I also don’t look for it. Recently I saw a news story about some MSU football players that got in trouble for going to a strip club. How it was found out about them going to a strip club was they wrote about it on their blogs. That was just plain dumb. I realize that this blog doesn’t have that many followers and I don’t post but a couple of times a month, but it is still public. I have ridden by this strip club probably a hundred times and when it is open the parking lot is usually full, but we don’t stop. Why? The people I am with and I have no interest in going to such a place. Now if it was a knife shop, I would have stopped several times. I am not going to lie; I have been to a strip club. Two blocks from the White House in Washington, DC. Women dancing wearing nothing but shoes on the stage and I was bored. I have also been to a club in New Jersey that was the club from the show “The Sopranos.” At least these women were wearing clothes and all of them were NYU grad students according to them. I got bored and told these girls I was the Lt. Governor of Mississippi. That was fun. Still I don’t look for or find porn and the people that get arrested for having kiddy porn on their computer must be really stupid. Obviously they don’t watch the news and hear stories of all the people getting caught.

I know there are kids that are allowing their grades to slip because they spend too much time on the Internet. My question is this the same percentage of kids that would be smoking pot or drinking if they weren’t so involved with on-line activities? Facebook is a big factor now specially with all the games. Farmtown, Farmville, Fish World, Fishville and many many more seem to occupy the time of millions. Now with my iPhone I can play Tap Farm or My Town sucking the power of my battery as fast as I can recharge it. I can see how people get so involved. These games show success, don’t create personal drama and aren’t making you feel bad or accusing you if anything.

Now I have to get busy, run a few errands and get busy editing photographs and e-mail them off. Time to get busy; take care and don’t blog any criminal or embarrassing activity. I have been sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking coffee. I did have marble rye toast though. I hope that wasn’t politically incorrect. I need to check My Town first….junkie junkie junkie….

Being a Shriner

Tonight was the annual installation of officers and board members of the Lee County Shrine Club. We were pleased to have the new Hamasa Potentate-Elect drive up along with five of the seven 2010 Hamasa Divan members. I like the new Potentate-Elect and I think he understands more about what being a Shriner is all about than many preceding him. Leadership in the Shriners is a “service” rather than an “authority” and those that understand make the difference. I have a positive outlook for Hamasa Shriners in 2010.

As people we often are so bombarded with words and terms associated with a group or a topic, we allow the definition of these words to be taken for granted. Shriners are human and like all things human we also take some things for granted. The words, “Hospital” and “Children” get mentioned a lot in a Shrine event or meeting. Unfortunately many of our Shriners have never visited a Shriners Hospital or participated in transporting a child to a hospital. I understand that some men are unable to take two days out of their lives and drive a child to a hospital. They can be just as beneficial Shriners if they contribute the time and energy that can give and cause no unrest or disharmony. Shiners were born out of “fun” and “philanthropy” and trying to make it something else doesn’t work.

You can’t be a real Shriner unless you actually like children and have a desire to lend aid to someone that needs what we can do to help them. Since 1922, Shriners of North America, now known as Shriners International have helped hundreds of thousands of children with a vast range of orthopedic problems and burn injuries. No matter how small or how large. One of the things I particularly like out the Shriners Hospitals for Children is the acceptance requirements. A child must be between the ages of birth and eighteen and have a medical condition we can treat. Just that simple without complications; we actually seek children to help. I have seen more than once a child treated after their eighteenth birthday simply because our hospitals truly care about these children. One of our problems is that Shriners Hospital appears to be too good to be true.

I was reminded at the installation of an event that happened in January 2003. It was the day of Milton Collier being installed at Potentate of Hamasa Shriners. Milton loved being a Shriner and loved children more than anyone I have ever known. We definitely lost Milton way too early and could sure use him back among us. In spite of all the work that was needed to be done that day, Milton insisted we all load up and head out to an airstrip in Meridian to meet a special ambulance plane that came to transport a young man to our spinal cord unit in Chicago. I remember Milton being asked about the cost of this special plane and Milton saying he didn’t care about the cost. Helping that child was more important than anything else. This young man had a diving accident resulting in a broken neck. When I first saw him he was a total quadriplegic. I quickly remembered being confined to bed flat of my back for several months and to see this person, especially this young, paralyzed was extremely heart breaking. No local doctor or hospital could help him and he was on a stretcher with a metal “halo” screwed into his skull. One of the things I was reminded of tonight was that a local doctor had said that with God’s help and the Shriners he may be able to walk again. We watched that young man be loaded onto that plane, it departed and we continued on with our evening event. Three months later we hear that not only has the Chicago Spinal Cord unit has helped him, but he actually walked out of the hospital. The following November he got up out of a wheelchair and walked across the Temple Theater stage. We played a photo array on the screen that included photographs I had taken that day in January. We, as Shriners, witnessed an actual miracle. Without the Shriners, this young man could have been experiencing his seventh year as a quadriplegic. Now he returns to Chicago as a volunteer to help others that have suffered a spinal cord injury. God and the Shriners didn’t let us down.

I have also witnessed more than one parent in tears because finally their child was getting the help that was needed. It’s not about the money, even though Shriners Hospitals for Children don’t charge, it about getting the help a child with an orthopedic or burn injury needs. The misconception that care at a Shriners Hospital is free is not true. This medical treatment is not free; it costs plenty, over two million dollars a day. The reality is that since 1922, Shriners have amassed a sum of money that allows our hospitals the privilege of not having to charge. Of course with the most recent economic times our financial status has required new concepts like third-party pay, taking Medicaid/Medicare, collaborations with teaching universities and budget realignments. But all twenty-two of the Shriners Hospitals for Children are still in business helping children, at no charge to the patient. Shriners Hospitals provide top quality care.

Prospective is key to be a Shriner. You have to keep those images of these children in your head always as a reminder of why you do what you do and why you tolerate what you tolerate. It is still a fraternity with all the trappings of a Masonic order and affiliation. Except being a Shriner is different, it is not really about “You.” You have to have a true empathy for these Shrine children. I can tell if a Noble has any experience with our hospitals or not. You see a child with no legs or no arm or confined to a wheelchair it makes you realize how lucky you are and how much people take for granted on a daily basis. I have had more than one orthopedic surgery, my first at age eighteen, so I know firsthand the level of pain involved. To think a five year old having that same awful experience is horrible. I am not taking about a few minutes or even a few hours of pain, orthopedic pain in months and years of pain; deep crippling serious pain. I have known daily pain since January 19th, 1975. As an adult I can deal with it, but think about the children that also have to deal with a lifetime of pain. Some people, even Shriners don’t think about it.

Another aspect of orthopedics is the lack of abilities that most people take for granted. Long time ago before political correctness it was Shriners Hospital for Crippled Children. “Crippled” is a term that is still prevalent in the minds and hearts of someone with a physical disability. People can make you feel “crippled” by simply walking faster than you can. They don’t realize it, because they don’t have a disability and it doesn’t occur to them. It requires a certain attitude you have to maintain. I usually like to classify it as two types of disabled people, ones with a positive outlook not allowing a disability to control their lives. Then there are the ones that become total assholes because they feel like they have to prove something to everyone; that they are as normal as the next guy and even better in their own eyes. You can see it in their eyes they envy they feel of the ones that have no infirmity. This desire for self-worth damages them as a person.

Somehow, someone recognized this factor and the attitude of the hospital staff at a Shriners Hospital is that of we don’t tell a child he or she can’t do something. The child life programs and the way staff members act and react with our children infuses a positive attitude in these children. This positive reinforcement works. I have a lot of respect for Shriners Hospital staff because of the attitude they have towards our children. You have to love children to make it work. Peer pressure is just as prevalent among disabled children as among non-disabled children. Nobles working with these children have to do what they can to make a simple trip to a hospital a fun uplifting experience. Narcissism does not work, but Shriners are human and humans are fallible.

Now that I have made a trip to a burn center, my Shriner experience has grown. Horrific, extremely painful disfiguring burn injuries are very much heart breaking. If you can visit a Shrine burn center and sit in the clinic waiting room without tears forming, you have a serious problem my friend.

We can’t forget or assume what being a Shriner is all about. Being a Shriner is about being of service to others. I have high hopes for 2010, being that our new potentate elect is the grandfather of a Shriners Hospital patient.

www.shrinershospitals.org

If you know of a child we might be able to help, please call our toll-free patient referral line:
In the U.S.: 800.237.5055
In Canada: 800.361.7256

Shriners Hospitals for Children is an international health care system dedicated to improving the lives of children by providing specialty pediatric care, innovative research and outstanding teaching Programs. Children up to the age of 18 with orthopaedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries and cleft lip and palate are eligible for admission and receive all care in a family-centered environment with no financial obligation to patients or families.

Father Time Continues To Touch Us

Once again I knock out another Lee County Shrine Club monthly newsletter. I got it done and printed on schedule in spite of the holidays. Holidays always bring to mind people we knew, respected, cared about and loved that are now gone but certainly not forgotten. These people from the past inspired this article.

My wife and I had a nice Christmas with family. I guess my personal most pleasurable part of Christmas was being able to spend time with my wife. She is a perfect match for my insanity and we spend a lot of time laughing about a variable range of issues. I know what it is like to be married to a person that you dread being around. Christy doesn't create drama or argument, she creates fun and I really appreciate her for being her.

I hope you enjoy this article and thank you for reading my blog.

Father Time Continues To Touch Us

Once again the phone rang, once again I hear about another close friend and Brother Mason facing death. “It doesn’t look good” was the message. Here is another man who is not just a ritualistic scholar but someone who went deep into the study, history and purposes of the craft. Here is a man that truly made a difference in Freemasonry, someone worthy of our respect. Luckily he recovered this incident, but remains a very sick man.

One of my first experiences in Freemasonry was the funeral of a man who was very special to the lodge. He taught all the candidates their lectures and I remember being told he had just received the “Shriner of the Year” award; I wasn’t even a Shriner yet. Since that time I have known several good men that brought honor, respect and truth to our fraternity; something that is more rare than common in Mississippi Freemasonry, especially now. We all have our own experiences within our craft and have our own personal friendships among brothers. We should never forget these men and how these good brothers, now residing on a higher plane, improved the lodge, influenced young men to future greatness and we sure could use with us again.

Every year when the Academy Award or the Emmys come on TV they always do a special memorial segment featured celebrities that passed away the previous year. We do mention our lost brothers in our meetings, but maybe we need a special annual reminder of who we lost to death and take in account and reflect on their importance to our craft. It’s more than the ritual, the politics, or the years of membership; but rather whose death greatly affected our lodges and affiliated Masonic bodies. Some members are difficult to keep up with due to inactivity on the part of the member. Every brother is important to the craft. Every brother deserves our remembrance; even the non-participating ones.

Often I question the wisdom of our Masonic actions. Our membership continues to fall in spite of all the changes made to eligibility and qualifications of candidates. Have these changes truly improved our fraternity? Are we seeking men or is there men seeking us? Do our lodges offer enrichment and enlightenment to the membership? When is the last time your lodge discussed the meaning and intent of a symbol or a phrase?

Sometimes I feel like I am beating a dead horse when I write about the Masonic Lodge; harmony, fraternity, brotherhood, and participation. I start looking for a paragraph in a book and quoting a famous Masonic author and historian to include. How many times have our tenets and teachings been quoted in lodge and yet someone still isn’t happy. Often I have said that the most fallible thing about a Freemason is that they are human. Forget a hundred years ago, Masonry had changed significantly in the last twenty years. I know the Internet is now a factor in modern Freemasonry, especially in the information sharing area, but I believe the major factor affecting our lodges now is the loss of the men we had as leaders and teachers. Have we learned the lessons they attempted to teach us? I see men striving to take their place and seek the same respect without first employing the effort. Masonic leadership is a service, not a position of power; this much I have learned.

I no longer care about degrees, pomp and circumstance, honors, accolades or titles. I now seek peace, harmony, quiet reflection and the enlightenment from being open minded. Experience is our best teacher and mistakes are usually made from people rushing forward without the experience needed to maintain the required harmony. I get a lot of enjoyment from a simple stated meeting with no drama, full of fellowship and even a sliver of laughter from pre-lodge discussions. It does me a lot of good to drive up to that Shriners Hospital with a patient. Actually seeing the good work of our hospitals and being able to visit with Nobles from all over. These are dedicated men also volunteering their time helping children and many of them who have made hundreds of trips to that hospital. If you want to truly understand what being a Shriner is about, go visit a hospital; sit in the lobby and watch.

The men I have known who were trained fighters and professional soldiers didn’t feel the need to prove their abilities. They could break you in half in seconds. I witnessed such a friend approached by a young person who claimed he was going to show this guy a martial artist move. In a blink of the eye he was flat of his back on the floor immobilized with my buddy standing over him. This “big scary guy” asked him, “Was that what you wanted to teach me?” I have noticed the same quiet lack of ego among some of our finest Masonic leaders of the past. They didn’t need to prove themselves and they encouraged young men to jump in the chairs. These men taught without criticism and preferred to remain uninvolved with the politics of men. These men of the past whom Father Time has chosen to take from us were our guide and map for the future.

We have mentioned resolutions in the past. You don’t need to publicly resolve to reflect and ponder on those in the past who were the example of Masonic principles. Quiet personal reflection works. We can all take the time to remember those we truly miss among our numbers. Just before I go to print this I see in the local obituaries another Mississippi Masonic icon has died. The scythe of time continues without hesitation and we have another brother gone who will be missed.

Have a happy new year and think about how you can take the past into a positive future for you, your family and your Masonic Brotherhood. May the Great Architect of the Universe bless you and keep you safe.

Hummus & French Grapefruit

You would think I would have much more to say and certainly post more on this blog. I am sure I do but sometimes I don’t say what I am thinking. Sometimes I am unable to put on in words the thoughts which occupy my mind at the moment. For example; the first two sentences of this paragraph was written a week ago. The second sentence had an error in it that I just now corrected. I do love a word processor with spell-check.

Tonight was a simple night. My wife, who works in retail, got off work about two hours later than normal. Then we went out to eat. This is a rough time of year for retail personnel. Seems like we, as a couple experience the same emotions every year during the holidays. The holidays are vastly different than I remember as a kid. Then for years the combination of two bad marriages and being single back and forth, the holidays were just a time of years that came and went. I was thinking tonight while we were driving from the restaurant how much better the holidays are with this wife and this marriage. I didn’t want to say anything because I felt like I was beating a dead horse with the subject. This wife is so much better, so much easier to live with, much more understanding and I feel like I can be myself now. I am truly thankful and my Mother is right, she is a blessing.

Conflict is so prevalent now in everything, I get to the point I just don’t want to be involved in anything. The question is; how can you spend so much time on the Internet? My answer, it doesn’t piss me off. No conflict is involved in my time on-line. Millions of people are now on Facebook. I have reconnected with people from the past that I honestly want to be reconnected to now. Every Facebook friend accepted me and I accepted them. The best part is these Facebook friends do not create conflict in my life. I feel we are going to see more and more “groups” and “clubs” reduce in activity partially because of the changes in attitude in people and part due to the Internet. Why drive somewhere for a meeting to hear the same old stuff when you can stay at home and surf the globe. With social networking sites the group dynamic is met without interference in any schedule.

Businesses, news agencies, politicians, and charities already see the light and jumping on the web. With sites like Twitter and Facebook one can reach a bigger audience easier. I get Twitter updates from three news sources, five popular chefs, two Shriners sources and my daughter. It comes in real handy to keep up with things. The Internet has become a utility in life, like electricity, running water, natural gas, cable television and the telephone. I own and have owned several various reference books. It wasn’t necessarily the knowing the answer that was important but rather how to find the answer. I still like having reference material at hand. How many times have you thought or said “I can look it up on-line.” For example; my wife and I were discussing hummus in the grocery store tonight. She asked if it would be cheaper to make our own. Our curiosity increased after we saw that the jar of tahini cost over ten dollars. Naturally I said I would look up the recipe on-line. Poof! In fifteen seconds and by only typing “humm” in Google I hit this recipe. Another quick, click, drag, copy and paste, here it is ready to share. Gosh it might have taken a whole five minutes to look up a recipe in one of my cookbooks. Thirty years ago, I wouldn’t have known what hummus was much less found a recipe.

Hummus

Ingredients:
•1 16 oz can of chickpeas or garbanzo beans
•1/4 cup liquid from can of chickpeas
•3-5 tablespoons lemon juice (depending on taste)
•1 1/2 tablespoons tahini
•2 cloves garlic, crushed
•1/2 teaspoon salt
•2 tablespoons olive oil

Preparation:
Drain chickpeas and set aside liquid from can. Combine remaining ingredients in blender or food processor. Add 1/4 cup of liquid from chickpeas. Blend for 3-5 minutes on low until thoroughly mixed and smooth.
Place in serving bowl, and create a shallow well in the center of the hummus.
Add a small amount (1-2 tablespoons) of olive oil in the well. Garnish with parsley (optional).
Serve immediately with fresh, warm or toasted pita bread, or cover and refrigerate.

The Internet has changed our lives. It also occupies several hours of our time. It is constantly changing and constantly growing as well as the daily changes in what we see and use the Internet for.

I started this blog post over a week ago and just now continuing…….

My addiction to the Internet grows because it holds no conflict for me. (Yes I know I said that earlier which was a week ago) I can occupy my mind without strife and woe. It seems like I get involved with one section of the web and stick to that until I basically wear it out; I stayed on www.Bladeforums.com constantly for a long time. The knife websites held my interest and I still cruse through then now. Now it seems like Facebook is the number log on site for me. I can stay connected with multiple friends from multiple facets of my life.

Since I got my iPhone I have discovered podcasts and even found more on YouTube to watch. We have reached the “On Demand” generation and are able to listen to what we want to hear at the time we want to hear it. This changes the marketing aspect of the music industry greatly. Plus it cuts into the radio advertising area. Television is also moving in that direction. I was watching a special on PBS about the Ed Sullivan show and was reminded of a time way before VCR or DVR recordings. We used to have to wait for a show to come on and if we missed it, we missed it. Summer reruns used to be a singular rerun. A movie used to come on TV about three years after it ran in theaters. Now it plays in the theater, three months later it’s out on DVD and Pay-per-View. With the DVR we can record television and watch it at our convenience. Life has changed. I envision us all becoming Weebles, wobbling in front of a screen and keyboard. Never leaving our homes and the apocalypse is actually one major power outage….

I have discovered something new on the Internet. While goofing around on my iPhone looking at featured postings from YouTube, I found a couple from the West Coast that post “Videosongs” on YouTube. They are good and obviously started with a very small following to now a large following. These two young people, Jack Conte and Nataly Dawn, collaborate on this music style of music and call themselves “Pomplamoose” which is French for grapefruit and my kind of name for a group. http://www.youtube.com/user/PomplamooseMusic

Tomorrow I have to make another trip to the Shriners Hospital for Children in Shreveport. I am going to turn in all the can tabs we collected this year. It is good to be part of something that totally benefits the children. Looks like I will be away from the Internet for a couple of days. I hope it doesn’t go bust due to my inactivity; at least I have my phone. Maybe I’ll have something more to blog about when I get back….

Non Article Blog

Happy Thanksgiving…Normally I would have an article from the newsletter I put out for the Lee County Shrine Club. This month I opted to forgo the writing and simply put a series of pictures of our annual magic show. It was a busy day, but truthfully it was a lot of fun. I couldn’t walk the next day. My legs give out much easier now and my right ankle was really frozen and painful. So all I was really able to do Sunday work on the newsletter. I did include a public relations article on Shrine membership. I honestly try to keep this newsletter fresh for the readers. After almost ten years of producing a monthly newsletter that can be a challenge sometimes. I try to add various elements that will keep people interested in reading it. I find that more women read it quicker than the men. I get more feedback from the women.

The ladies involved in the Shriners are just as important and productive as the men. It’s a shame we (the men) haven’t found a way to “officially” add them as members. Freemasonry being the base for membership prohibits women from joining. Not that I am advocating changing one of the base landmarks in Freemasonry; but, after more than a hundred years plus the public aspect of Shriners International, we should have found a way to make the women’s role more official, at least on the club level.

We do have some movement in the Shriners big picture, a couple of new web sites, www.shrinersvillage.com and www.beashrinernow.com. The first is for Shriners and requires membership to enter and the second is a public promotional website. Being a Shriner is a position of service. http://shrinershq.org/

This year’s magic show included a child identification program; the MSCHIP program sponsored by the Grand Lodge of Mississippi. This is a good program and the odds are we are going be responsible for the recovery of a missing/abducted child.

Our magician was from Madison, MS, Dorian LaChance. He was very good, entertaining and energetic; both the kids and adults enjoyed his show. Our timing was off with the addition of the child ID program. Originally we didn’t need a break between shows, I guess we do now. I think our error was that our original magician didn’t put on as long or as good of a show. Next year we will adjust. The last show started an hour late, but it was because we had fifteen boys from the Tupelo Children’s Mansion show up for the noon show and it took awhile to process them all through the ID program. Only one lady got mad and we were able to serve the waiting audience food before the show instead of after.

The delay didn’t faze Dorian; he put on the third show with just as much energy and excitement as the previous two. He put on a show that made the crowd forget the waiting time. I enjoy dealing with someone with a good work ethic. Those boys from the children’s mansion stayed after the show and helped stack the chairs. It all worked out fine. One thing I noticed about this magician, he had the timing required to obtain the predictive response from the kids in the audience. This skill allowed all the kids in the audience to feel involved in the show and he did without being too unoriginal. I saw even the shy, introverted kids open up and get involved.

Even though my legs were hurting, I was able to go home in a good mood about the show, plus I got to see some cool magic tricks. www.magicbydorian.com
www.mansionkids.org

Today is a day for family and friends. Christy has to work part of the day, retail. Holidays used to be about the holiday and celebrating; now it is about increasing sales. Everything is on sale plus stores expect increased profits. Makes you wonder about the actual value of the product in the first place. What is the cliché? You can go broke saving money.

Have a happy holiday and drive safe.

Mysterious Ways

There is an old cliché stating “God works in mysterious ways.” It’s true and to those who don’t believe that, I feel sorry for you.

I normally avoid any religious discussions on purpose. Religion is often a major source of argument and disagreements. I believe that religious beliefs are “extremely” personal and totally individual. I am sure I am very open-minded about religion much more than most people and less than a minimum few. I don’t think I was put on this earth to judge who is right or wrong concerning religion. I will not tell any believer they are wrong and other than an atheist don’t think anyone is wrong. I certainly would not engage in an argument with an atheist. I am a strong believer in “free will.” The book I am reading explains that the Druid sun god was born on December 25th. That doesn’t mean that it is blasphemy and certainly there can be parallels in pagan beliefs as well and Christian beliefs. One thing humans have is the free will to believe or not to believe; plus, God does nothing to interfere with that human privilege. Free will is a gift.

I guess what caused my feelings of being blessed today is my in-laws. My father-in-law and brother-in-law built a special trailer to pull behind a four-wheeler so I could ride into the woods to deer hunt. They know I have bad legs and made this effort to help me. I didn’t ask them to and didn’t expect it. They just thought it up and built it. When Christy and I went by her parent’s house this afternoon, they were outside. My father-in-law couldn’t wait for me to see this trailer and we actually finished it this evening. It is rather a neat little design.

My point is that I am married to my third wife; the first two didn’t work out too well. I had come to the conclusion that I would forever remain single and really never expected to be married again. I had dated a few women but basically they weren’t much to brag about either. My good friends had formed a committee to screen any potential partners in an effort to prevent me from any further bad relationships. I was told that not only do I attract the crazy ones, but I would talk to them too.

Then boom, five years ago I met Christy. She lost her first husband to a tragic illness. I remember when it happened and knew about it from my friends who were kin to her first husband. After she moved back to Mississippi to help with her parents after her father’s heart attack, we met. Long story short, we slipped around and went out while her sister- in-law who is the wife of a good friend was in the hospital having a baby. The relationship stuck and developed. She is much younger than I am, but that obviously hasn’t made a difference. It has been a wonderful relationship and a great marriage. My family thinks the world of my new wife. Her family and I also get along great. I must be doing something right, they built a special trailer for me. This is really the first true “in-laws” experience I have been allowed to have. My previous two wives didn’t really want me around their parents. I guess they were afraid the fact that I’m not really Satan would come out.

I don’t act any differently around my in-laws. Any time they have asked me to do something, I have always responded happily. It is easy to be myself. We have shared a lot of laughter and fun over the past almost five years. I am very grateful for this gift of a good marriage I have been blessed with. I guess the secret is to not look, but to drop back and allow faith to take place.

I always feel weird when someone does something nice for me. I guess I am more experienced with conflict. I always think it is my place to be the one to do something nice for someone else. It was a lot of fun helping them finalize the construction of this trailer and figure out some of the details. Hopefully we will also have to use this trailer to haul a deer out of the woods this year.

My only advice is to count your blessings. Don’t take a good marriage, parents, children, friends, or positive relationships with your in-laws for granted. Not everyone has the same benefits and until you know otherwise you really have no idea how blessed you are.

First of November

The last few days I have been in a good mood, which has not been normal for the first of November.

Last Friday I made a crock-pot full of chili which turned out nice. I used some beef loin rather than ground beef. I didn't make it spicy as per Christy's request but it turned out delicious, even if I say so myself....

Saturday I went with my Bother in law to get my new rifle sighted in by a gunsmith. He was closed, so Christy and I went back today. This guy lives out in the boonies but uses a computer and a special mount to sight in scopes. I will go test it out before I go hunting. My Father in law swears by this guy's work. This gunsmith also used to make knives so it was a fun visit. BUT that is not why I was in a good mood rather than my usual All Saints Day depression.....

On November 1st, 1981, my first wife left with my two children stating she would return in three weeks. She said she was going to visit with her Mother in Oklahoma giving me some relief while I found a job. I had been laid off a couple of weeks earlier....She failed to return. It is not easy to explain my first wife.

Long story short and avoiding various details and nonsense....I lost contact with my children and had no idea even where they were until last year.....I got a hint they were in Pennsylvania in 1995 but I never actually found them. Efforts were made to prevent me from knowing their location....all it really did was increase my desire to find my two children.....I searched.....for years I searched.....

The Internet aided me in my search efforts but for years I had no luck.....I even drove through Pennsylvania looking through telephone books but with no luck.....

Fast forward....I finally found my daughter last year on the Internet and called her up....The first of July 2008.....We immediately connected or reconnected and have enjoyed a wonderful father/daughter relationship....even though we live a 1000 miles apart, she has a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters of her own, we stay in contact. I was able to visit with her this past April and we enjoyed a week together....

Now that this is the second November I am enjoying after reconnecting with my long lost daughter....I noticed the absence of the depression I had for so many years not knowing...for 27 years I faced each Halloween and All Saints Day feeling bad because I was missing out on my two children....Now I don't have that situation anymore.....

My son still hasn't decided if he wants to reconnect and I have to give him time and room to decide...He was only two months old when I last saw him and he really doesn't know me. Plus I am sure he hasn't been told anything good about me...Maybe someday.

Thankfully I have my daughter and thankfully we were able to reconnect. Now we communicate through various means on a regular basis. The initial phase of reacquainting is over and our communication is a regular habit....We don't focus on the past or the whys. We live in the present and enjoy knowing each other. We share a lot of laughter and joint happiness.

My good mood replaced the sadness of the past. Now having a daughter is normal. In the past year and a half we have had several telephone conversations, e-mails, Twitter and Facebook messages....(Several is putting it mildly more like a whole bunch and more). I have an entire sub-directory of photographs of my granddaughters....My daughter set up this blog for me.....I finally get to tell her I love her and she can hear me....I never forgot her or denied she was mine....Maybe someday my son will wake up and see who I really am...

Now this November came about with a different tone. My thoughts and feelings are different....thoughts of my children are different now....I can focus on other things and know that whatever those thing are I can always talk to my daughter about them. I can tell her the silly things I said, we can laugh and share.....My father died in November 1993 and I even miss him...I wish I could tell him about my daughter and his great-grandchildren....I look around this year and see new babies in our family.....parents and children should not be separated....Do not take your family for granted...You might not realize what you are missing until you have lost them...and if you are ever denied your children or parents you will understand...I was lucky in having a second chance with my daughter and trust me I don't take it for granted....I am saddened by my son's reaction but out of respect I won't hound him....My daughter just had a birthday in October. She said her husband said she was getting old but I told her no, this was only the fourth birthday I have been able to tell her Happy Birthday....

Now I can call my baby girl up and tell her about the chili or the scope sighting or my wife's new niece or my new great-niece or the Shrine Club or anything....any I am sure she will fill me in on my granddaughters and the large cartoon characters she saw this past week.

I like this new November....feels good.....