Angry for 2 days

I have been angry for two days. Experience has taught me not to expound when I am angry. I needed to cool off. I am still mad and still upset; but, at least I don’t have the desire to publicly call people idiots. They still are idiots but at least I didn’t say it in anger. I don’t feel the need to lay out details or lash out something I may regret later.

Some people understand and some do not; there are some that you could puree the truth into a smoothie pour it down their throat and they still wouldn’t get it. I just don’t think decisions should be made based upon “prediction” or “opinion” but actual facts. Bypassing the efforts it will take to gather actual factual data is irresponsible. No, many of you have no idea what I am talking about, but I refuse to discolor something I really believe in because of “internal” disagreements.

Now what to do? At the moment I am convinced I should back off and allow the downward trend to continue and step off the train now. This has worked for me before both with good results and bad results. One time I flatly refused to throw my supervisor under the bus because it was untrue and wrong. I was warned I could lose my job, but I refused to participate in empire building by making a false report. It was wrong and I refused to be wrong even though it hurt me personally.

A second time I set back and allowed my supervisor to destroy himself. His bossed ask me why I didn’t call and report him. My answer was, “It wasn’t my job to supervise him; it was your job.” I also told him that I refused to cut the guy’s throat because I wanted his job. He said I would have gotten his job if I had reported him. My response was that I wanted his job because I was qualified for the job and not because I caused my former supervisor to lose his job.

Now I feel I should step back and let the idiots have it. The only problem I see with this plan is that normally narcissistic people don’t learn from their own mistakes and tend to blame others. Basically I am burnt out and frustrated. I feel I have done too much in the past and people have grown to depend on me for what I will do and don’t realize actually what I do for them. Like today I asked, “Where are we having the district meeting? I have a newsletter to finish.” I was told “I’ll find out.” Then I was told we were having the meeting “At that place on the side of the highway. “ I asked three times, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
“Oh you know that place by the highway in Booneville.”
“BUT, what is the name of the place??”
“I don’t’ remember but the guy is not normally open on Tuesday.”
“I still need the name.”
To his credit he did call me later and tell me the name of the place. I was frustrated by the thought of making an announcement for a meeting with just “That place on the side of the highway, Yawl come.” Plus I am still in a bad mood. So all I was seeing was the negative.

I get a lot of credit and praises for my newsletter, but I don’t think people really know what level of effort it takes. I just want people to realize I need time and have a deadline and just once not to have to chase down the information that needs to be put out. Burnt out is probably the main problem.

On a happier note, I have an article done about my trip to the Cincinnati Shriners Hospital for Children, a pediatric burn center. The work these people for children is amazing. I wish all Shriners could see and realize the real work of these hospitals, and some of them that have seen have obviously forgotten. We don’t realize how lucky we are until you see a child age four or five wearing pressure garments on her head and face from a burn injury.

Now I need to figure out how to be mad and supportive all at the same time.