Widows & Orphans…..& Books?

I know it has been a while since I blogged, but burn out takes it's toll. I have felt the need to back off from everything. The problem with people is that they are people. I have done a spot of reading lately, a nice escape from the reality of life. Books and words are a great way to escape and recharge your batteries. I remember a time when reading books was essential to making it through the week. I felt sorry for all those people that could not read. Children should be encouraged to read for pleasure and allowed to develop a love for a great storyteller.

I have read many authors and found some enjoyment from reading an author's first work. It seems like they put more heart and soul in that initial novel or work that makes it a good book. When they can repeat that heart and soul they have proven they can write. When their name becomes more important then the content; they have lost it.

Take John Grisham's A Time to Kill for example. He knocked it out of the ballpark with that one and even followed up with other novels that hit the mark. It was reading The Rainmaker first that made me go back to his earlier work. I quit reading him after The Brethren. I found basic errors in that novel that told me he neglected his basic research, facts that he could of presented correctly if he had only talked to a couple of people. I am surprised his editors didn't catch them or were they only looking at the profit margin by then. I quit reading his books. His mistakes were so simple to avoid, that I lost faith in his work. Am I judging him too harshly? Maybe, but the man is writing bestsellers, mainly purchased on his name creditability alone, not soap opera scripts.

Novelists have tough jobs if they do it right and after writing a few articles I appreciate professional writers. I also work on a monthly deadline which also makes me appreciate reporters that have to produce on a regular basis plus attempt to keep the reading public interested. What I write has very few boundaries and I do not write for profit, so my freedom helps. My writing is vastly different from what a professional writer produces and I recognize it. Novelists that require themselves to preform a lot of research and background knowledge do succeed in their work. Readers do notice.

One author I started reading over thirty years ago is Wilbur Smith. Wow, this dude can write. He wrote his first novel in 1964 and can still spin a tale. I have not read every novel he has written, but I have read his entire Egyptian series and several of his other books including his most recently published. Here is a guy who has been published worldwide in numerous languages and he still puts out a "good read." The last two of his I have read were his newest novels and it seemed like his writing had a slightly different attitude than his early stuff. That may not make much sense, but today I purchased his second novel in paperback put out in 1965 which isn't part of a series, just to see for myself. You might not like his historical work, but it intrigued me. I do think every young man read his Courtney novel The Birds of Prey, it is just a good ole pirate story and very well done in my opinion. I look for his work when I am in the bookstore. http://www.wilbursmithbooks.com/

Another good author I have become a fan of is Daniel Silva. (No, I do not get a kickback) He is also a Facebook friend and from my experience married to a very nice lady. I had already read everything he had published before I got on Facebook. It was his writing and not me being one of the thousands of his fans who also owns a computer. People who write a "series" of novels involving the same characters have to work hard to keep the characters and story fresh to repeating readers plus not confuse the new readers. I am curious if he feels any added pressure now that he knows he has so many fans in direct communication with him via Internet. The Internet spreads bad news as quickly, if not quicker, than good news. I have faith in him though. Hopefully his sweet wife won't have to hire a couple of Russian dudes to slap him around. http://danielsilvabooks.com/

I guess the point I am trying to make is that I recently finished Dan Brown's new novel The Lost Symbol. I still think Angels and Demons was his best work. This last one was a decent read and ended okay, but I felt at first he wasn't topping himself with this one. He eventually got into it and it turned out fine. I just feel that this one became an instant bestseller because of his previous work.
We wanted more; we got more but did it enlighten? Did he hit "that" mark in his readers? Will we snatch up his next hardback as soon at it hits town or do we wait a year to pick up the paperback?
Did we say, "Oh Boy I can't wait until good ole Dan Brown cranks out another one." like several of us did after reading The Defector by Daniel Silva?
Mr. Brown, are you writing movie scripts or novels now? Didn't you learn anything from John Galt?

Reading for pleasure is personal and I see some books that I can't imagine anyone buying but each to his own. My dear wife consumes Nora Roberts as fast as the woman can crank them out. I think the lady shoots one out a week. I have accused dear Nora of having a hundred or so female ghost writers, typing furiously while she sits in the back of the room cracking a bullwhip and sipping champagne. Well if my wife is happy, I'm happy and she doesn't need Russians. She will just poke me in the eye, again.

So dear friends, what started to be a simple preamble to my latest Shrine Club Newsletter article, turned into, this....This article goes out Tuesday and there will not be a movie. Enjoy.
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Widows & Orphans…..
Two things happened last month that inspired this article. The first was the death of a Brother Master Mason and his obituary had no mention of his Masonic affiliation. The second was I got a phone call and was ask to assist the widow of a dear departed brother I knew and truly respected. I agreed without hesitation. It isn’t anything awe inspiring to help out a friend and it was actually fun, but it got me thinking about what do the widows of our departed brethren actually think about the Masonic Lodge and Shriners. Do they know that Masons are supposed to lend aid to our widows and orphans?

Dr. Albert G. Mackey wrote in his work, Jurisprudence of Freemasonry in the section relating to the rights of a Master Mason:

“Perhaps it is hardly necessary to add that the wives and children of Freemasons, while claiming relief through the right of their husbands and fathers, are subject to the same principles and restrictions as those which govern the application of Freemasons themselves. The destitute widow or orphans of a deceased Freemason have a claim for relief upon the whole Fraternity, which is to be measured by the same standard that would be applied if the Brother himself were alive, and asking for assistance.”

There is much more to this discussion by Mackey in his writings, but I think you get the point. We as masons are taught that we should lend aid to our widows and orphans. This doesn’t mean that Freemasons restrict our charity works to only relatives of our members; matter of fact, Masons are very charitable to people from all walks of life. Do we leave a positive enough impression on the families of our departed that they will feel comfortable enough to seek relief and do they even know this fact about Freemasonry?

One of the worst things a lodge secretary has to deal with is that note or phone call from a widow saying, “You sent my husband a dues notice and he died two years ago.” Some of these ladies are mad because the “Lodge” didn’t notice her husband died. If a member hasn’t attended lodge in years and the family doesn’t let anyone know, the likelihood is great he will not be removed from the rolls until his dues aren’t paid. If the member or his family doesn’t communicate with the lodge, it is very hard to keep up. There are thousands of card carrying Masons in this state that never attend lodge or even let anyone know they are a Mason. Freemasons should discuss Masonry with their families and if you are unsure what you can talk about, ask. Lodges should host more family events and even discuss items that wives and family members should know about our fraternity. I have never seen a Lodge suspend a member for non-payment of dues that was truly in need of the relief. I have known Lodges to keep a sick member on the membership roll and not ask for his dues money. I have also seen several men reach in their wallet and pay another member’s dues. Like the member we lost last month, if it hadn’t been for a Lodge Secretary doing a superb job, the Lodge wouldn’t have known about the loss because it wasn’t in his obituary. The ladies and families need to know that a Masonic funeral has to be requested and the Brother has to also be in good standing before his Lodge is allowed to conduct a Masonic funeral. Freemasons need to remain in contact with their lodge and make sure the secretary has all of your updated information.

Shriners and our philanthropy have truly benefited from the participation of our ladies. Our clubs, events, fundraisers and notoriety would be sadly lacking if our ladies weren’t involved. The ladies are the unsung heroes of Shriners, everywhere.

Attending a lodge meeting is not only a right, it is a privilege. We are not a secret society but like any fraternal order we have portions that are nobody’s business but our own. Freemasonry is family orientated and anyone attending a Lee County Shrine Club meeting can tell you that we are definitely family friendly. Our wives and families need to know about their relationship with Freemasonry. They need to understand the definition of “relief” from a Lodge point of view and what “measured by the same standard” means.

Freemasonry is back on people’s minds now with the release of Dan Brown’s recent novel, The Lost Symbol. Non-masons may be disappointed or surprised by the ending of this novel. Active Freemasons that study and practice the tenets of the fraternity will not be surprised or disappointed. There is no better time for us to improve our family and public perception of the craft. Brothers, call a Masonic widow you know and let them you are still there for them.

9-9-09

The day before yesterday was September 9, 2009 the big 09-09-09. To some I am sure there was a numerical meaning in this rare date and alignment of numbers. Numerology has been around for centuries and we shouldn’t take it lightly. Certain numbers have certain meanings and significance. September 9th had a different significance for me; it was my oldest granddaughter’s seventh birthday. Seven years ago I became a grandfather and at that time was totally unaware of the event.

Bypassing any negative side of this story and cutting to the chase, November 1st, 1981 my first wife took off with my two children and within a year I had totally lost them. I couldn’t find them. I had no clue until 1995 and then all I was told was they were in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is a big state. I did hunt for them and did countless internet searches using every clue I had as well as anything else I could imagine leading me towards my children. Feel lucky if you know your children, my daughter was two and my son was two months old the last time I had seen them.

Very few people even knew I had children but I never denied them and I thought about them every day. It was something that haunted me for a very long time. My search continued and as the internet grew larger the more I searched. I found references to my son and his wife and I even located my first wife. I knew without a doubt she would not tell me anything. You would just have to know her to understand. I even paid one of those Internet sites to give me details and I got a telephone number for my son. I called and it was useless. My present wife was aware of my searching efforts and warned me not to be disappointed if I did find them and they rejected me. She said she didn’t want to see me getting hurt. I had to keep looking. If you have children I am sure you understand.

Finally on the last day of June, 2008 I got a hit on my daughter, it was a Saturday. The website was her employer and it even had a photograph. I knew it had to be her, because she looked like my sister at that age. I waited to call on Monday, thinking she wouldn’t be there on the weekend. This site gave me her married name and I continued to search even more, memorizing and jotting down even detail I could find.

Monday morning I tried to be patient and not start calling too early in the day. When I did get my daughter on the phone, I almost passed out. Instant connection much better than I could ever had imagined. My daughter and I have so much in common it is uncanny and she accepted me. She and I have stayed in touch on a regular basis even though she is a thousand miles away. I can’t tell you how many phone calls, e-mails, text messages, Facebook message we have exchanged. Not only do I still think of her every day like before, I actually get to talk to her now, know where she is and that she loves me. I get to tell her directly I love her now; not just in my prayers like before. I get to know my son-in-law and have a great amount of respect for him. I get to know and hear the sweet voices of my two granddaughters, encourage their antics and tell them I love them. After twenty-seven years of not knowing, the darkness has dissipated and the relationship between me and my first born evolved rapidly into more than anyone could hope for in life. Matter-of-fact, she set up this blog for me. I am extremely grateful for my daughter and love her very much.

Unfortunately my only son hasn’t decided whether he wants to know me or not. All I can do is respect his wishes and accept his decision as painful as it may be. I have received one e-mail from him, I answered but nothing since. Hopefully he understands that I never forgot or rejected him.

I am not going to lie and say my daughter and I haven’t talked about the past. When we visited this past April, we spent a lot of time talking to each other and several subjects were discussed. The good thing is we actually don’t dwell on the past. I guess we got it out of our systems and we don’t need to talk about it. We still talk to each other a whole bunch, but subjects of the present and future have become the topics of the day. Things like my granddaughter’s daily antics and vast cuteness are what we dwell on. Cooking, recipes, TV, weather, current events, school, health, dreams and ideas occupy our chats. We have talked for minutes and have talked for hours. She and I share many common interests and our conversations are of such what would be expected from a father-daughter relationship. I missed out on a lot of her life and growth but she has made it possible for the past to rush into the present leaving us with a healthy loving family relationship. I told her up front my intent was to cause no harm, and I think by now she knows I was being honest. I told her up front that I had no desire to speak negatively about her Mother and I would say that since July, 2008 she knows that when I call she doesn’t have to worry about being in the middle of something painful. We don’t need the past, we have now and tomorrow.

I won’t speak much about religion or politics because they are two volatile subjects. I will say this about what we are taught about forgiveness and redemption. Absolution from sins should cure us; forgiveness should give us a new day. Negativity, anger and hate only destroy us as a person. If I allowed the feelings of the past and spent all my time issuing blame, I wouldn’t be much use to anyone. My present marriage is a Godsend. I wasn’t looking for it, but I have been daily blessed by it. How could I participate in my marriage to my wonderful wife now, if I allowed the past to infiltrate my thoughts and actions?

Now I can fully appreciate my daughter and my granddaughters. My son-in-law and I can be friends and buddies, free to communicate without dread. My daughter can know that her father loves her and she can still refer to her adoptive father as Dad without me minding. I love her unconditionally like a father should and not cause her any disharmony. I guess since Wednesday I have been thinking about how blessed I am now to have found my children. It feels good to call a grandchild and say Happy Birthday. By the way, in case you aren’t aware, Grandchildren can do no wrong.

My recommendation is if you have children, hug them now, for there are people who don’t have that privilege. If you haven’t talked to your child, make time to talk. It feels good and if you lost that ability you will miss it greatly. I got to hug my baby girl for the first time in a very long time this year and I can still feel her arms around me. What was lost is now found. Thank you to my daughter for being my daughter. I love you.

Two topics

Topic of the first part, Good things: I bought a quart of honey while I was on my trip to Cincinnati. On the way home we stopped off at the orchard that my Great-Grandfather started in 1905. It is no longer in the family and was bought out a few years ago, but I still feel a connection to this orchard. Now instead of trees and strawberry beds the main fruit stand is obviously storage and the new owners have built this barn like structure which is gift shop/fruit stand/restaurant. The fruit part now seems to have a minimum part in this gift and there is this large playground in back of the barn/restaurant.

While perusing the various “tourist trap” wares I came across a shelf with pints and quarts of honey. I like good honey and the last two pints I bought was from a guy at the big flea market in Ripley, Mississippi. He had his honey marked by the different strengths of the honey. The two I bought were both good honey. This honey I found in Kentucky was labeled Suttons Honey and listed that is had won several awards, like some State Fair best eight years in a row. So I bought a quart. I started to buy a pint but I got to thinking if this honey was as good as the label indicated I would really regret only buying a pint. I am real glad I bought a quart, because it is some real good honey. My wife said it reminded her of her Grandfather’s honey.

I told her that when this jar ran out….she finished my sentence by saying “we’re taking a trip.” That would be just like me to drive seven hours one way to buy a jar of honey. I would like to think I was more restrained than that. We have driven a couple of hours to another town to see a movie that wasn’t playing in Tupelo, but that was a couple type outing. The problem is once you taste a food item with superior taste you are disappointed with anything less. My wife tells me I have a snooty palate, but after finding things that taste so much better than you had before you aren’t satisfied with “before” anymore. Everyone likes good food, but the people that are happy with bad food truly confuse me. While society still allows us we should seek out more and even better tasting food items, either sweet or savory as long as it is better than you had before. I would rather pay twenty dollars for a wedge of real parmesan cheese and grate it myself per use than any filler-filled facsimile. Not only does it tastes better, but you get more and have to use less. It’s no secret that the best will cost more or even require more effort, but if you get in the habit of using fresh ingredients and better cooking techniques you will reap the rewards. Now I have to start figuring out how I will get more of this honey. Several very delicious items I have found were by being adventurous and not fearing trying new things. Personally I think it is wrong for a person to declare they don’t like something they haven’t tried before. Plus sometimes it isn’t the food item but the preparation of that food that made it taste bad. Try something new every so often and I think you will be surprised with some of your new discoveries. Recommendations help but please remember that “taste” is very individual and not everyone is the same. So be open-minded and enjoy.

Topic of the second part: Advertising. Daily, hourly and every minute of the day now we are bombarded with advertising. You would think these ad guys would realize that by increasing the volume of a television commercial only results in hitting the mute button and ignoring the ad rather than getting our attention. I don’t mind a company advertising their products, but now there is so much advertising I am getting were I don’t listen to or read any of them. Plus, they have to repeat the same ones constantly. Ads should be limited to only once a week, even once a day would be nice. Everything has a sponsor. The homegrown ones are the worse. True ads make it possible for some TV shows and events to be shown but we also pay good money for cable service. When is the last time you saw an advertisement and was inspired to buy that product? The ones about the “free” credit report make me wonder, if it is a free service what is paying for all those annoying ads? The local boys with the used car lot that think they are entertainers only make people avoid them. We should be able to block an ad once we seen it once. Do people really buy the premium brands with the fancy ads or do they opt for the store brand at a lower price. Some premium brands are better due to quality not because of the advertisement.

Once I saw a food ad where the person tasted the soup and put the spoon back in the pot. I e-mailed the company telling them about the lack of food safety portrayed in the advertisement. About four months later I got a response stating they were very serious about food safety and that they were actors not company food professionals. I saw the same TV spot after that and that part was edited out. I thoroughly enjoyed my little victory.

The print media isn’t any better. Magazines are mostly advertisements but at least they aren’t loud with annoying songs. The internet is racked with ads and will jump in your face. I once knew a newspaper reporter and actually went on restaurant reviews with her. She told me that we couldn’t give a bad review because the advertising department wouldn’t allow it and the advertising department controlled the paper because they brought in the money.

So like most Americans I have learned to ignore all the advertisements I see on a daily basis. I have become so overloaded with ads I am not affected, inspired or amused. All that money, time and energy spent on so many calculated seconds while I get a refill or go to the bathroom. The mute button gets hits automatically and I miss whatever is out there that can and will improve my life. I guess I won’t be talking to my doctor about that pill which will allow me to walk romantically on the beach regardless of a possible heart attack, blindness, stroke, rash, dry mouth or gas.

Do we talk too much?

Probably do and since the on-set of cell phones and the Internet we converse a whole heck of a lot more than ever before. Are we saying anything more than before, probably not, we are just hashing and re-hashing the same old words just more of the same.

How did we ever survive in the sixties and seventies without all this mass communication on a daily basis? Last night I had dinner with a friend and both of us received text messages during our meal. Neither one of us obviously thought it was odd or an inconvenience. We were not bothered but the normal daily occurrence. The Internet allows us worldwide instant communication with millions of people and I venture to say about any subject that comes to mind.

For example: I was talking to my daughter last week and using my weird sense of humor the subject of Chinese cheeses came up. Luckily my daughter understands my sense of humor. Within minutes of the initial question, “Do the Chinese have cheese?” Neither one of us could remember seeing a cheese dish in a Chinese restaurant, well a Chinese dish. I was able to Google “Chinese Cheeses” and discovered that yes there is Chinese cheese and matter of fact there are three different Chinese cheeses.

Being that I have been a lover of all thing knives since childhood, I discovered an Internet forum which I joined ten years ago. http://www.bladeforums.com/

When I joined in July, 1999 there were already 2,000 members. I was psyched. That many people all in one spot talking about knives. This forum includes some of the most knowledgeable purveyors and makers in the world. This forum has been exciting and basically has changed the face of the knife industry. Now ten years later there are over 138,000 members on this forum. At anytime day or night there will be around 700 to 800 members on-line. That is a lot of people talking knives. There are sections relating to non-knife issues and even total nonsense. Some of the forums are restricted to members only and the moderators keep the spammers and troublemakers tossed out faster than you can be bothered by them. There are other good knife interest forums and I have been known to read them as well. Checking Bladeforums has become a daily habit. I have learned a lot from these guys and I have also been bored by some of the members asking the same old question over and over. I guess freedom of speech is their right and I can easily skip right over the boring stuff. But please people discover for yourself which is the best knife. I own over a hundred knives, so what do I know? I have successfully used four different styles of kitchen knives in the last week, each a different blade length, width and metal. Maybe it isn’t the knife in general but the user. At least all four of them were decent knives.

It does seem that the forums were a lot more interesting when less people were on-line. I guess we have covered all the truly relative subjects and now we are waiting for the next big development. I have become bored with the forums for now, but I will remain a faithful member.

There is a new forum for Shriners now. http://theshriners.proboards.com/

This forum only has 27 members and apparently very little activity. With 191 Shrine Temples you would think we would have more to discuss. One problem is the average age of Shriners is somewhere around 70. Not many of them are Internet savvy and some think it is OK to pass around spam. “Oh No, Pass it ON, the country is going to hell in a hand basket!” So I guess it wasn’t really rock-n-roll after all but all the politicians you elected. Maybe allowing all of our industries to move overseas and not buying American wasn’t such a good idea. I know you don’t like illegal immigrants but you also don’t like picking the fruit and digging the potatoes yourself. How about the real issues of the Shriners and the 22 hospitals? Apathy is our worse enemy, but maybe as the years pass by, more Shriners will connect and we can rebuild this great fraternity.

Maybe we do talk too much and maybe we aren’t really saying anything. I think all this communication is better than not talking at all. At least with forums we can choose what to ignore and what to learn from. Sometimes we can depend on our Internet friends to be more supportive than people we see every day. I have four Internet friends that I have known for over ten years, we all live hundreds of miles apart. They are as close to me as the friends I have living in Tupelo.

Conclusion: We probably do talk too much but at least we are communicating. Maybe the lack of mass personal communication in the sixties and seventies is why the world is like it is now. We should encourage the exchange of free ideas and respectfully understand all people are entitled to their opinion. We should continue to read, continue to learn and continue to respect each other.

The only people that are wrong are the closed minded and the ones that use cheap dull knives.